Last days

Thursday the fifteenth was our Roommate Christmas party.  Melinda gave us our presents, we all got a scarf, mine is adorable, and I love it, Erin got me some cow socks.  They are awesome!  Earlier I was going to totes buy myself some.  We put in Lilo and Stitch and did our nails and face masks.  Jeannie had washed hers off, and we were working on our nails, when the fire alarm went off, so I went to the bathroom and washed mine off, but poor Megan went out green faced and all. Today was my last test in Histology.  If anything it was bitter sweet.  I loved that class, got electrocuted, hit my head on microscopes countless times, learned how to properly use a microscope-now I can find anything on a slide.  Best professor and students ever.  I will certainly miss my class of fifteen vet and dental students.
On two of our tests we came up with the idea to use a word on the test.  Everyone had to use the same worse in a very distinct way.  First was indubitable, and then pandiculate-to yawn and stretch at the same time. Friday after my test, I took a half hour nap, and then I walked down to Erin's house.  We watched Serendipity, and then we looked at you tube videos, and ate cookies.  I headed home.
We decided on a paper mache art project, so Jeannie and I went to the business building in search of newspaper.  We couldn't find any on the second floor, so I got in the elevator, to go to the third floor, but forgot what floor we were on and pushed floor one, so we headed down to the basement. We explored a little, I had never been down there.  We heard foot steps, so we booked it up the stairs, and ran to the tsc as fast as possible.  We found newspaper, and Jeannie grabbed a whole stack of city weekly, I was trying to get in the door, I instinctively pulled instead of pushed. Jeannie opened the door, she handed the stack to me, and for some reason we walked through the tsc looking for more and then retreated to the outside and home, carrying our twenty some newspapers.

The snowman

puppies are awful adorable

Christmas at the Miller's

We went to wal mart, bought the unborn. Came home and John from across the hall was here, so we all watched Unborn, Kim, Jeannie, John and I.  Scary movie, but I was told completely predictable, follows all of the horror movies. Psha! Then Brad from upstairs came down and we all hung out and talked and joked and laughed, until midnight. Erin came over, and we headed to the cemetery, because it was foggy, and we thought it would be a good idea to walk through a cemetery.  We talked and found the entrance, and walked through it, not that scary.  Still haven't spent the night in there, probably next spring. Came home and warmed up, and drug our mattresses into the front room, put in How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, and promptly fell asleep at three in the morning. Woke up and made pancakes. We had to go to the airport, so we trucked ourselves down there, and then we headed to Home Depot to find Rob. Wondered around the store, looking at grass carpet, foamy rugs, and an extremely durable suction cup thingy.  Found Wayne and he showed us the appliance section where we found Rob, and helped wrap a washing machine. We looked in every fridge opened ever washing machine and dryer, re-arranged hot plates on stoves.  We then checked out the latest microwaves, picked out our future counters and cabinets.  A half hour later, we found Rob again, and decided to make a pinata, a snowman, so we headed home. Kim engineered the snowman body, and I ripped newspaper. We started laying the paper foundation, and I decided I wanted to make a turtle, but it ended up looking like a frog/hamster, so we'll see how'll I'll paint it.  Once our first layer was done, it had to dry, but we  had to  have it done at five.  Five was in two hours, so we got out our blow dryers, and started the drying process, for the next layers I decided it would go by faster if we blow dried while we put paper down, and it went a lot faster. We did that for a couple hours, then I took a nap, Erin read, and Jeannie and Kim worked on our project. We were going to leave at five and make cheese cake. Rob, however went shopping so we left at seven, and got to his house the same time his parents got back. We had french fries and corn dogs, and watched sappy Christmas movies, and worked on a thousand piece puzzle, after looking at the box once.  After thirty minutes I forgot what the picture looked like, and after doing a lot of the edge gave up, and started knitting. Returning to the puzzle ever so often to piece a few more together. Davy J came over and we stayed until one, and then left, and fell asleep at two.

Spring Semester first day

Accept it and love it

I woke up later then I wanted to which was at seven. So I got dressed ate shredded wheat, and went to my job as a UTF. I met Doc outside his office and asked if I should do anything, or help prepare anything. He said no, so I headed down the hall to the class room. It was a huge class, over eighty students. So I sat in the corner and then he introduced me, which was a huge introduction.  He said I was  recommended by the dean, had a high GPA and was paid. Then I introduced myself, and I've been getting this weird stuffy nose dying throat thing, so I sounded weird and wanted to make a fast intro, and sit back down. We handed out the syllabus, and then class ended. I came home and did something, maybe had a cookie, and then headed to O chem. I thought there was a new professor, but there wasn't same guy, this should be a fun year.  I came back home, had another cookie, and banana talked to Kim for some time, and then went to Physics.  From the time I sat down to the end of class, I had a headache, and thought I was going to be really sick, so I decided I couldn't do another semester of being stressed out and sick. So after class I went to the Animal Science building set up a date with Tami for two, and went back home. I looked up possible classes I could take, and settled on Equine Nutrition. I brought down my internship papers, and met with her. I'm signed up for 17 credits this semester, plus my job which should be plenty.  I have to write a ten page paper, and and do a twenty minute presentation for my four credit internship. I came home loaded up my back pack with gloves my phone and hat, and headed down to first dam.

I saw Geese so many Canadian Geese, and then I started hiking.  I decided to hike up the steepest rockiest, most slippery part, instead of going down fifty feet to no snow and a good hiking part. So I went up the mountain on hands and knees, and made it to the top.  Started my descent down the other side, and spotted two huge bucks. Which was pretty cool, then I followed deer trails down this wooded hill, which was straight down and awesome, I took a picture but you can't see the Epiciness that was involved.  I saw the smiley face sign, but when I hiked up the other side, I couldn't find it again, so I just went higher. I saw it was five to four so I started heading over, and then down at four. I slid most of the way on my feet which was surprising. Following deer trails that criss crossed across the mountain, I finally went straight down, and fell at the most absurd place, it wasn't steep, or slick, I just got my feet tangled. So I got up laughed at myself, laughed even more when I saw the deer staring at me, and headed down, made it to the trail and ran back to my car.  Total deer was twenty. I got in my car and headed home. Once home John started talking to me, so we ended up walking around the building for a good hour. At which point I was starving so ate my other hamburger, and then I played guitar for a while, wrote a letter to Nick, tried to write a song, took a shower, and applied to uvu, and finished watching leap year, later is True aggie night, and we'll see what happens.

My year in a coconut shell

Going back to January, from what I can remember.  I was signed up for 12 credits, decided that wasn't enough, so I took a sheep class, who would have thought where that one class, that one decision would lead me. It introduced me to some incredible people, not only students, but adults as well. The school year was pretty un-eventful, as far as life goes. I got some scholarships, I put hundreds of miles on my running shoes, I read, wrote, and finished my last semester of math that I will ever have to take...ever. Kassi, and Emily were a few of the girls in my sheep class that would change my life. I got to watch many lambs born, and chase many ewes, and learn patience and team work.
February was my dad's birthday, I'm pretty sure I went home to celebrate. I volunteered at the elementary from this month to school ending.  I learned so much patience from kindergarten students, kindness, a hug can fix most everything, and to never leave without a good dose of hand sanitizer.
March was pretty un-eventful as well, I think that's when my lamb watching started, I stayed up for an entire night, cleaning jugs, feeding lambs, ewes, and running down allies to wake the sheep up. This was the month of my spring break, spent entirely in the hospital, ending with the death of my Grandpa. I wasn't able to make it to his funeral, but that was the second of many deaths this year.
April was the month of field trips.  First we toured around north Utah, exploring sheep ranches.  Saw my first sheep dairy, met some incredibly pompous people.  Then we took a three day, tri-state tour.  Started in Utah, headed up to Idaho, stopped at a US land management thing for a tour, and an incredibly boring lecture. Next we spent the night at a hotel in Idaho.  Then we headed to Wyoming. We spent an evening at a sheep ranch, there were some ridiculously nice people, who gave us lunch and invited us into their homes.  After an afternoon van nap we headed back to Utah. This was the third death of the year, my Grandpa's sister, didn't make that funeral either. 
May was the month I headed up to Nevada for my first summer alone, away from home, on my own.  This was the month I met Marie, and Tom, and a bunch of Peruvian workers, who seemed very intimidated by me. I went hiking this month, and found many mines, I doctored a lot of sheep.  Fixed a lamb with a broken leg, and nursed him back to health.  I got a huge house all to myself. I learned responsibility like no other, and had to figure a lot out on my own.  I learned how to use wire stretchers, I learned how to fix electric fences, look for shorts, re-wire, clean disgusting bath rooms, make a gate, drive sheep. This was the month, I learned what it was like to be a slave. This was the month I had to ask permission to leave the property, I had to let someone know where I was a hundred percent of the time, this was the month, I learned just how annoying a cell phone was. This was the month I learned what its like to drive a four wheeler with no brakes, and no reverse, this is the month I learned that wire fences in the sun light can appear transparent, that my decisions weren't the best, that I would be held accountable, this was the month I had to ask for day's off, and ask to go to town, this is when I lost a lot of independence.
June this was the month I took the cast off my bummer lamb. I started running with Marie.  The first time I hung up on my dad, because he told me not to come home, and if I broke down he wouldn't help me.  This was the first time I missed my brother's birthday. This was the month, I met an intern, and started having fun on the job.  This was the month, I learned how to fill up a fertilizer tank, how to clean one, how to drive a back ho, how to clear land. This is the month we rode double on a four wheeler taking turns driving, we learned how to mess around and not get caught.  This was the month I learned how to grade wool, and how to work a computer like its no ones business. This is the month I learned  about the hot tub, and reading in it late at night, and sneaking back to my house. This was the month I started kick boxing. This is the month I started hating the responsibility of living on my own with a pet.  This was the month I started and quit training a horse, who would not stop biting me. This was the month I felt my first earth quake. This was the month of my Uncles death, and I missed it as well.
July perhaps the funnest month, I made a lot of friends in Yerington, watched some amazing fireworks, had dinner parties and game nights, perfected my Spanish, dewormed sheep, bottle fed many lambs, saw my professor who got me my job, found puppies, learned to drive a truck and trailer. Learned how four wheel drive works in a Ford. This was the month I shot my first coyote, and killed my first rattle snake. This was the month of flooding, of trying to make a raft, of swimming in the river.  This was the month we got our mule, and this was the month we got to drive in the little ranch trucks after getting stranded in our mule fixing fences when the worst rain hit and left us soaking wet.  This was the month or rain, and dancing in it. This was the month of splashing through puddles and driving through sprinklers.  This was the month my parents came and I didn't want them to leave. This was the month my brother called me, and I didn't want the phone call to end. This was the month I found God again, and attended church every Sunday, and fell in love with the greatest people I've ever met. This was the month we decided to make a potato shooting gun. I learned a few rocks and a dirt road won't kill my car, that sometimes the best sound is not music with words, but just music, just sound, to keep you awake, to keep you going. July was the month my intern friend left, and was replaced with games and dessert. July I found me and my strength to keep going. July was when I said goodbye to my parents, and my trusty companion for two months, Smokey, only in preparation to leave my summer home.
August was the month I left. I got my first kiss. I spent a night on a water tower. I spent an amazing week with my brother, met new people, and gained friends in one week.  I felt like they knew me, but I had never heard these people mentioned.  I spent many a night on a couch, broke rules, and ate nothing. Perhaps what I miss most from this month is my innocence, this is when I lost trust. I went canyoneering, swam in a pond, hiked, rode horses in the grand canyon, four wheeler-ed through bryce. I left a job that I was bored with, I left in the middle of the night, I was almost hit by an on-coming car, I drove across Nevada twice. I drove it once alone, and found my way by some pretty crappy instructions to my brother. I cried and laughed alone, I was the happiest during this month I had ever been. I went to a rodeo in a small town, I experienced my first flat tire on a horse trailer, I learned a sisters love, and what she will do for her brother.  I learned that my brother needs to control his temper, and I won't always be as forgiving. I learned embarrassment for being yelled at in front of many people.  This month I learned my independence, this was my month, this was the month I didn't want to ask for permission, and didn't want to tell people where I was or where I was going. This was the month I was set up for the first time, where I went on a date where I rode horses, and I was in charge.  This was also my month of running away. This is the month I left all my problems, and din't deal with the house of cards that was falling down. This was also the month I stopped caring, and did what I wanted.  I left early for college.  This was my month of running from every problem, from every disagreement I had, this was the month to run. 

An Aggie again

Pita my first college pet

September this was the month I ran eleven miles, this was the month I started running with Josh. The month I got Phil to Logan, the month I went to bear lake, and swam in the lake. Laughed with my friends, attempted cliff diving, swam a river, was re-united with some of my best friends again. I had squash cobbler, and picked vegis. 
October I got disappointed.  October I realized what I had gotten myself into with school.  This was the month my professor offered me a job to be a UTF, this was the month I was going to turn it all around, and then I didn't.  This was Halloween and haunted houses, scary movies, and trick or treating for the first time in ages.

Halloween with the mates

November, this was thanks giving I had to learn to face my problems.  Life and my communications class taught me that. I learned not to trust everyone, that people lie, that people you are close to physically you can be miles away emotionally, and cognitively. This was the month I cut off communication. This was also the month I learned my brother had a girl friend, that I didn't trust him, that he with held important information from me.  This was the month I stopped running. This month I went to lunch with my mom and we talked about everything. This was the month I went hiking in Springville, I went hiking with my friends to the hot springs, and I didn't need my brother, and I fell flat on my back and laid on the ice laughing at myself and staring at the stars. I learned to over come life's challenges. This is when I faced failing, and decided I could move on. This is the month I learned to love my brother again, this is when I learned his happiness was important, and he still loved me.  This was the month that caused me the most stress, and I wouldn't re-live it for almost anything.

First Blind Date

Hiking Provo Peak

December this is the month I learned to love my family again.  This was my month for forgiving myself, and Grandma, and everyone who had done me wrong. My month for re-discovering me and who I had become. This was the month  to read books, and knit, and study, go hiking, and snow shoeing, and stay up late with friends, complete puzzles and watch movies. This is my Grandma's month, this is about being true to her, and living up to what she expects of me.  This is my mothers birthday month; this is about her, this is about re-evaluating my relationships with my family. This is about being happy with who I am, and not what people expect of me, or want from me, this is me being me. I'm a knitting, drawing person in the back of a church swaying to the music and listening to the words, a mid afternoon walker taking books and movies back to the library, going to far, and re-tracing my steps, an evening and morning runner, a writer, a fighter, a will stand up for what is righter.

Late  night paint party

Making cookies and giving them to the folks that live in our old apartment

Many batches of cookies that were made this year

My idea of making two Recipes one of them was mine, the other Jeannie's, and have the roommates blind taste  test them for me 

Peeled an orange in one piece pretty eventful day 

One of the field trips, this is where we stopped
and ate lunch/napped

During finals week we all found the fudge recipe
 on the headstone, then we made it, it was simply
the worst fudge I have ever had.

Cleaning out the fridge getting ready to check out

Zion PR the best part was the fantastic horse rides, no causalities for me, so that was good , I loved the long horse rides and driving the wagon. 

The big horses, and "Santa" we went riding through Bryce with him. 

All about the food and dinner parties this year,
Cooked so many meals for the people I love, and I
LOVE doing it

so much wool

sometimes you just have to smile

Marie's birthday cake, best chocolate cake ever, and frosting, plus freshly picked cherries

Danger indeed, but I till entered, sometimes the danger
involved is worth the risk

possibly one of the best views after driving through desert, seeing green pastures

One of the reasons I stayed. I loved feeding my bummer lambs

Some of the cutest puppies, favorite part of the day was playing with them.

The hot tub house, and all the flowers I planted, I loved planting the flowers, and I  got some of the best lemonade for doing it

The best Bryce has to offer

I love that horse, someday she will  be mine

A Birthday Party, and Smokey in the  back before he went home

I wouldn't mess with me, at least not when I'm carrying, otherwise I'm pretty harmless

my bummer lamb, he kept me company many nights

This was the most eventful year of my life, from living though six family deaths, my friends parents dying,  wondering if my childhood is ending or has already ended. From experiencing feeling like I'll not amount to what I'm supposed to.  Re-connecting with a God I threw away, patching up relationships.  From over coming my own stubborness, and protecting my own values.  From being a push over, and standing taller then ever. Realizing I have a voice, and not to be exposed and left vulnerable I need to excersize my right to speak. That its  not okay for people to take advantage of me, and for me to always run, I've finally stood and fought. From now on that's what I'll do, I have friends that will always be my friends, I need to be myself.   I have been so selfish this year, I've put me first almost always, and I've played the martyr. This new year,will take me all over everywhere, from being in charge, to disappointment, my only new years resolutions are to get good grades, stand tall and stand up for what is right, love me and everyone, laugh out loud for all to hear, continue to be immature around my best friends and have the  best year ever.
Thank you to everyone who was part of my year, you made me who I am, you helped me through everything.  You have been my supporters, and disappointments, but you've made life worth living.

ROCKET

The important part of this weekend was I rode Rocket.  She is so smooth, and beautiful, I'm so glad she is mine.
I got her from the best horseman out there, Steve Carter.  He gave phil Waddy, Rocket's mom.  When Rocket was a wee bit of a foal, I made Phil ask Steve how much  he wanted for her.  He said nothing, he said I will giver her to you. I couldn't control my giddiness.  I  had my own horse. Granted Phil has put so much work into her, its not fair for me to call her mine. I will always ride her and call her mine though, and deep down he know's she is mine. 
I do ride Cactus a lot,  because Rocket is a bit spunky. I keep waiting for her to get older, and calm down, but she's four, and mature.  Lets face it, waiting for her to lose her spunk will take ten years. Much too long of a wait. I fell in love with this filly when she was first brought to our house with her mom.  I would go to the back sneak up to her pet her, and walk beside her.  I tried drawing her once, but it looked like something Mark Tobey would be proud of, but it did not resemble a horse. I had high hopes of teaching her tricks...and then I graduated high school and left for college. Phil became Utah's best horse trainer, so I let him take care of her.  He did wonders, she is rideable, lungeable, she walks and runs, rears and bows, loads in a horse trailer. She is awesome. I want to run barrels on her someday, she will be the fastest horse around.

Accept it and love it

Rocket is my red horse, and I hope I keep her always. I want her to be my War Horse. No matter what, we will always find each other.  She is the first horse who greets me in the pasture, she is the first horse who whinnies her hello.  The first horse I've walked behind and not been afraid of getting kicked, the first horse I've crawled under. She has her own attitude and she reminds me of all my animals, they are all unique and have personalities all their own. 
Thank you Steve, and Phillip for giving me the best gift, Leo's Red Rocket!