Forgive

How do you forgive? Its a mighty big word. College will lead you down a winding road, on top of the world one day, crashing hours later, leaving you blaming everyone around you. DON'T!! This post is about Forgiving. Forgive yourself, forgive the weather, forgive those who have done you wrong, forgive your parents, and your friends your professor, and that bird who mistook you for a bathroom. If you hold a grudge if you feel spiteful you lose power, and you lose control. Pull your own strings-your beliefs determine your attitude. 

Forgiveness might take time, it might take a year, or ten. Don't let it take that long. When my Grandma died I couldn't forgive her, or forgive God, for leaving me so soon.  This forgiveness took the longest, because forgiving her meant forgiving myself.  I had to forgive myself for not saying everything I wanted to, to her. It took a while for me to realize I can talk to her still. Her death didn't end her listening and watching over me. She is always with me!  She surrounds me!  She always hears me! There are times I've been close to serious injury and probably death and the only thing I can attribute my survival to is her watching out for her Angels. I also came to the realization that I can love her after death.  My love didn't end with her death.  I'm not breaking her heart if I don't think about her once throughout the day.  For forever I thought of her at least once a day, and how much I miss her, until I stopped.  I still love her and she knows it. My successes show her how she has changed my life.  I want nothing more then to be a successful person, and make the most of life, making her proud. 

Forgive the people who have hurt you. Forgive but never forget, learn from your past. If you don't you will make the same mistake repeatedly. I recently learned how bad I am at communicating my feelings, and it came to a head. My feelings weren't expressed, still aren't, but sometimes you have to walk away. I realized that I can't be around somebody and not develop feelings towards them. I can't be an emotionless statue. However my feelings are based on reciprocated feelings.  I never knew what the other person was feeling-I never knew what to feel.  This is another instance where I've had to forgive myself as well. So many mistakes were made, and so little prevention took place on my part. I let my guard down, and I got hurt and felt used, and I used someone. My entire life, my out has been to run away, or hide, shut everyone out, ignore the problem, and in time it will disappear.  It didn't work this time, face your problems.  Talking may be the hardest thing you will do, but do it.  Self disclosure will bring you closure. I needed some sort of closure, I needed an end, I needed to move past everything that had happened. If someone doesn't agree to talk to you in person, they are not worth your time.  If someone can't make time for you, they don't deserve your time. If your friends and family tell you they are not worth it, listen, this is the best advice.  Your family knows you best, they know what is best for you, always listen to them. My biggest mistake was not speaking my mind. Never bite your tongue, when your emotions are in question.  I asked everyone what I should do what I needed to do, and I never asked myself what I wanted to do or what I felt was right. I played this through everyone else, and when it came down to it, I ended up doing what I wanted.  Avoid drama and say what you mean, if you want to talk, don't disguise it as hanging out. If you scare someone away because you need/want to talk to them, then let them be skid-dish. Never do something in writing when you can call them, always have voiced conversations over important things. Once everything played out, I called my mom and dad, and told them what had happened, and for once exposed my feelings; my pain, my anger, my hatred. All out in the open, and I forgave.  I realized there was nothing that I lost there was nothing that I won't feel again, there's nothing that a weeks time won't heal. I was given the best advice by my mom.  At night when all is said and done take everything you want to say write it down on a paper in your mind, take the paper and throw it away, or burn it.  You won't say anything you will regret, and you can put it all out of your mind. Every day I walked into my day care and there was a giant poster of Christ, and it said "I didn't say it would be easy but I said it would be worth it."  These instances are just part of the game, part of the climb. Its not always easy to forgive, you don't want to, but in the end it is what's best.

Forgive your friends when they tease you, or when they tie your shoes in knots, post ridiculous pictures of you, or tell the same story forty seven times.  Forgive your professor for giving you a hard test, and not listening to your reasoning. Forgive the bird, or cow, or horse who gets you dirty. Forgive your dogs for tying you up in leashes. Forgive the post man who gives you the wrong change, or the speaker who says your name wrong. Forgive those who are late, and forgive those that criticize or annoy you. Learn to Forgive!
"God is walking beside you when there are two sets of footprints, and carrying you when there is only one set of footprints." Sometimes you have to put trust in a greater power whether it be God, Buddha, or a White Elephant.  Learn from that figure and forgive. 
So how do you forgive? I learned that forgiveness is to grant someone pardon, to cease feelings of resentment, to get over what wrong was done. Do whatever it takes for you to do this. I can't put a recipe to forgiveness.  It includes blame, self realization, emotions, communication, and time. After you will be stronger.   Grant the other party pardon; excuse the other person for what they have done. Stop feeling resentment towards that party. I had a hard time separating resentment from self-pity. After you have been hurt, or are sad, all you want is for someone to realize you have been hurt. You want to wallow in your pain, and be acknowledged. This acknowledgment gets you more pity, which continues the cycle. This is pity, don't do it, pick yourself up by the boot straps as soon as possible. Stop the resentment, there is nothing that can be un-done, so move past this feeling.  Lastly get over the wrong that was done.  Occupy your time with something else.  Focus your attention on studying, writing, reading, knitting, hiking, running, talking, just move on. Love it and accept it. You can think about the past, but don't let your emotions be debilitating. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VTFX0Q7rq-E&ob=av3e